Darling Jourles,
Well done for writing out your story it must have been so hard. I was in the same situation with my Dad 3 years ago, but when I did go to see him he reached out to hug me and kissed me all over my face saying "My little girl". My Mum is 86 and I dont know how much time she has left, she cut me off again after the funeral was over, realizing that I wasnt returning to the org. She is not a nice person to me so I dont miss her. I will be there to support my sister when my Mum dies but that is all.
The JWs permit contact in terminally ill cases and I feel the reason for that is so that the family cares for them and the JWs dont have to. My Dad got few visits from them when he was dying and my Mum hardly gets any now she is alone. Your Mum speaks to you but she is still following instructions just as my mother does. The JWs will not shun you at the funeral, they spoke to me on that day and one of them said "your Dad talked about you all the time" as if that would give me comfort instead of seeing him.
I do hope you find a way to cope with this it is so hard. <3 xxx